Popularity Contest
by premonitioner
Summary: Because, really, that's all it was. And for once, he didn't win. ONE SHOT


**So, anyone see the latest Bleach popularity poll? Yeah. FUCK YEAH. –dances- TAKE THAT, ICHIGO 3****RD**** PLACE KUROSAKI. NO LONGER NUMBER ONE. IT'S CAUSE YOU SUCK, HAHAHAHA! BEAT BY TWO MIDGETS. NOT ONE. TWO. HAHAH. **

**Disclaimer: If owned Bleach, then, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

* * *

**

You could have cut the tension in the air with Hanatarou's zanpakutou. And that was saying something. They had all gathered in Urahara's Shoten, in the underground training room, as any of the rooms upstairs would have not held the capacity. They had sent Yoruichi to get it. She was the fastest of all of them, after all. And she knew she wouldn't be in the top ten, not after all these new characters. So, she wasn't likely to take a sneak peak and look.

Urahara doubted that, but, who was he but a simple young (and sexy) shopkeeper? And there were some he was against having down here. Like poor Hinamori Momo. She still hadn't recovered, and being in the same room as Aizen wasn't doing wonders for her.

And Grimmjow. He was being pestered by Orihime, who was trying to get him to once again release his zanpakutou, as she deemed his 'kitty' form 'cute'. Urahara worried for the girl, as the look on Grimmjow's face indicated that he might just kill her then and there.

Ichigo and Rukia. They were as calm as they always were when these things came out. They weren't stupid. They knew they were insanely popular. They knew they would be in at least the top five. And despite his denials, Ichigo was confident that he would get top position for the fourth time in a row.

The room crowded fell silent as Yoruichi appeared in the centre of the room, holding a magazine high above her head. She moved slowly and deliberately, taking great pleasure in making beads of sweat run down the spiritually aware people's faces.

Flicking casually through the magazine, she paused here and there, letting out small comments like 'Ooh, so that's why Itachi left him alive,' and 'A Level Four? Allen's screwed…' until from the back of the room, Kon screamed "GET ON WITH IT, WOMAN!"

She smirked, and found the page immediately. Urahara could see Ichigo gulping, staring at the picture of himself on the front cover as Yoruichi's cat-like eyes scanned the pages.

"Ahem. Your attention please, my dear humans, Shinigami, Mod Souls, Hollows, Nobles, Outlaws, Shopkeepers and evil Hollow Overlords. I will only read out the top ten. After that, you can go buy your own damn copies of Shounen Jump and see where you are if you didn't make it."

The room waited with baited breath.

"In tenth place, with 3751 votes…Ulquiorra Schiffer."

The Hollow applauded their melancholic Fourth Espada, who blinked once and nodded to Aizen, who smiled evilly back at him. Yoruichi politely waited until the clapping was over.

"Ninth place, with 3852 votes…Kira Izuru."

The quivering Third Squad Vice-Captain smiled weakly as his former captain smirked at him.

"Eight place, with 3975 votes…Inoue Orihime!"

Orihime looked pleasantly surprised, and giggled as Matsumoto engulfed her in a large bear hug, soon joined with Tatsuki who patted her head proudly.

"Seventh place, with 4010 votes…Kuchiki Byakuya."

The Head of the Kuchiki clan looked rather pleased with himself, since he didn't have that many appearances lately. Rukia was looking at her brother with great pride in her eyes.

"Sixth place, with 4102 votes, Hinamori Momo!"

The sickly girl squeaked, a look of shock on her face. "Shiro-chan, I did it!" she exclaimed to her childhood friend standing beside her, who nodded and smiled. "Well done, Bed wetter-Momo." Momo glanced not too secretively at her former captain, who smiled at her, and she almost passed out.

Yoruichi flipped the page.

"And onto the top five! This is where the real competition starts!" Yoruichi called out, and she blinked. Scanning over the page again, she grinned.

"Anything wrong, Yoruichi-san?" Urahara asked, and he raised an eyebrow at the feline woman shook her head at him.

"Nothing, Kisuke. Anyways. In fifth place, with 4710 votes, Ishida Uryuu!"

The Quincy Archer (since he couldn't take 'The Last Quincy' as his title anymore) pushed his glass up his nose as he was tackled by Orihime and Matsumoto. His father gave him THE look, and went back to staring at the Shihouin woman before them.

"Fourth place, with 4987 votes, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques!"

The Sexta Espada smirked triumphantly at his fellow Hollow, knowing there would be no other Hollows higher than him.

"Third place, with a whopping 7829 votes…"

Yoruichi took an extremely long pause. Was this what she had blinked at?

"Kurosaki…Ichigo."

The room was silent. All eyes turned to the orange haired substitute shinigami, whose mouth was slightly open, and eyes wide. Loud laughter burst out from beside him, and Ichigo's head slowly turned to look at the midget Rukia, who was doubled over laughing.

"You weren't first! You got beat! Your face is hilarious!" she cried, struggling to stand straight as she was laughing so hard. Ichigo's face contorted with anger, and he whacked her over the head.

"If you don't come first, you don't have any right to laugh," he snapped, folding his arms and huffing. Rukia looked at Yoruichi expectantly, and she continued.

"Second place, with only 66 votes more, Kuchiki Rukia."

Rukia pouted, obviously displeased without her right to laugh at the sulking Ichigo, who gave her the smallest smirk and went back to his angsty mood.

Now the only question in the room was who the hell came first? Ichigo and Rukia were essentially the main characters; if neither of them were first…a murmur of questioning went through the room, everyone wondering which renegade had stolen the muchly coveted position of The Most Popular Bleach Character.

Yoruichi cleared her throat. The room fell silent once more.

"First Place."

Kon's belly squeaked as he fell off the rock he had been standing on, and everyone jumped, laughing nervously when they realised what had made the noise. Yoruichi made sure to look every single person in the eye as she read out the next sentence slowly.

"Eight thousand, two hundred and seventy eight votes."

The characters who had not had their name read out gulped, sweat running down their necks, apart from one little white haired boy who could not care less as he held his weak and shivering best friend up, who had placed Sixth.

"Of the Gotei 13…"

The Hollows and humans of the room sighed in disappointment. A shinigami made first place. It was always the damn shinigami.

"Oh look, the page is torn, I can't see who it is…" Yoruichi grinned as everyone glared at her and her bad joke. Kon scrambled from his position on the ground and screamed once again. "JUST TELL US!"

"Hai, hai! First place, 8278 votes, of the Gotei 13, Tenth Squad Captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou!"

Madness ensued. The poor child genius captain was tackled to the ground by his best friend, his vice-captain, various other captains, Orihime, Ichigo's little sisters, Ichigo's high school friends, the Urahara Shoten employees, Shun Shun Rikka flew around peoples heads, fireworks under the command of Shiba Kuukaku burst against the artificial sky in the underground training room.

Toushirou found himself suddenly being thrown up, and he was doing what the humans called crowd surfing. He was higher up than everyone, for once in his life, and he allowed himself to smile as Momo was suddenly thrown up beside him, cheering and hugging him.

Not too far away from the large crowd of cheering people, a discarded magazine was picked up by a yellow lion plushie, who immediately burst into tears at viewing his name beside the 40th place marker.

**

* * *

I dunno why, but I just wanted to write this! I was so excited, especially seeing that Ichigo WASN'T first, for once, and that MY ****favourite**** character was! Ehe, not even gonna ask for reviews, just wanted people to see my ideas…-squirms- YAY FOR SHIRO-CHAN, THE SEXY CHILD! –is pedo-bear for Shiro-chan- **


End file.
